"Young men tend to come into relationships feeling very strong and powerful, and they make a lot of mistakes. But they soften when they have daughters. You see women through a whole different light, because now you know that they were once someone's little girl. I wish I'd had this knowledge when I was 20. I wish I could call all the women I've ever dated and apologize. I didn't know how precious they were. I know better now."
– Oscar nominee Terrence Howard spoke to RedBook about how having two daughters has changed the way he views his previous relationships now.
The 40-year-old actor voices the character of the father in Disney's upcoming movie, 'The Princess and the Frog.'
*****
For other stories, read also: 'Frankly Speaking: How Oprah Inspired Mo'Nique'
& 'Frankly Speaking: Whitney Houston Has A Habit.'
Mel B Pictures
In this photo provided by Kraft Foods, Spice Girl "Mel B" poses for a photo wearing a T-shirt she designed based on the classic pink ribbon used for breast cancer awareness, after a fashion show and launch of "Pose for the Cure" web site to help Kraft Foods raise money for the 'Susan G. Komen for the Cure' fight against breast cancer in New York, Tuesday, Sept. 23, 2008. The shirt is for sale on the web site and the net proceeds will benefit the foundation. (AP Photo/Kraft Foods, Ray Stubblebine) **NO SALES**
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In this photo provided by Kraft Foods, Spice Girl "Mel B" poses for a photo wearing a T-shirt she designed based on the classic pink ribbon used for breast cancer awareness, after a fashion show and launch of "Pose for the Cure" web site to help Kraft Foods raise money for the 'Susan G. Komen for the Cure' fight against breast cancer in New York, Tuesday, Sept. 23, 2008. The shirt is for sale on the web site and the net proceeds will benefit the foundation. (AP Photo/Kraft Foods, Ray Stubblebine) **NO SALES**
AP
In this undated image released by Oxfam Tuesday Sept. 23, 2008, British singer Mel B participates in the 'In My Name' global campaign calling for action against poverty and demanding world leaders keep their promises on millennium development goals. (AP Photo/Oxfam, HO) ** NO SALES **
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In this photo provided by Kraft Foods, Spice Girl Mel B, left, serves as the emcee at a fashion show and launch of "Pose for the Cure" web site to help Kraft Foods raise money for the 'Susan G. Komen for the Cure' fight against breast cancer in New York, Tuesday, Sept. 23, 2008. Mel B wears a T-shirt she designed based on the classic pink ribbon used for breast cancer awareness. The shirt is for sale on the web site and the net proceeds will benefit the foundation. The woman at right is unidentified. (AP Photo/Kraft Foods, Ray Stubblebine) **NO SALES**
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NEW YORK - SEPTEMBER 09: TV personality and designer Khloe Kardashian and Olympic-level swimmer and model Amanda Beard (R) pose backstage at the Mel B With Ultimo Spring 2009 fashion show during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week at the Metropolitan Pavilion on September 9, 2008 in New York City. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images )
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NEW YORK - SEPTEMBER 09: Ultimo Scottish designer lingerie brand founder Michelle Mone (L) and pop singer Melanie Brown pose backstage at the Mel B With Ultimo Spring 2009 fashion show during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week at the Metropolitan Pavilion on September 9, 2008 in New York City. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images )
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NEW YORK - SEPTEMBER 09: Pop singer Melanie Brown poses backstage at the Mel B With Ultimo Spring 2009 fashion show during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week at the Metropolitan Pavilion on September 9, 2008 in New York City. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images )
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NEW YORK - SEPTEMBER 09: Pop singer Melanie Brown and Olympic-level swimmer and model Amanda Beard (R) pose backstage at the Mel B With Ultimo Spring 2009 fashion show during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week at the Metropolitan Pavilion on September 9, 2008 in New York City. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images )
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NEW YORK - SEPTEMBER 09: Pop singer Melanie Brown and singer Aubrey O'Day (R) poses backstage at the Mel B With Ultimo Spring 2009 fashion show during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week at the Metropolitan Pavilion on September 9, 2008 in New York City. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images )
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NEW YORK - SEPTEMBER 09: Pop singer Melanie Brown, Olympic-level swimmer and model Amanda Beard, singer Aubrey O'Day and TV personality and designer Khloe Kardashian pose backstage at the Mel B With Ultimo Spring 2009 fashion show during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week at the Metropolitan Pavilion on September 9, 2008 in New York City. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images )
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Comments: (52)
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By: PJD120 on 11/18/2009 2:14PM
I applaud Terrence for saying what he said. Most african american men wouldn't say what he said. But usually men that have daughters see this because now they have someone they have to protect from the wrongs men do to women. Now I'm not saying women are always right, because that is not the truth. But for the most part, it is the women that are always somewhere with their heart broken for what a man has done to them, and that goes for all the nationalities, not just african american men. Again, I applaud you Terrence.
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By: Sheryl on 11/19/2009 8:18AM
While I think he is on the right track, he needs to apologize to his ex-wife for hitting her. All the world comes down on Chris Brown but Terrence, along with SEVERAL other are members of the same tribe: "Slap-a-woman" and they still go on as if nothing ever happened.
Terrence, Tyrese (he pushed his wife down while she was pregnant), Warren Moon, Barry Bonds...the list goes on.
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By: Joshua on 11/24/2009 9:05AM
Wow.You guys sound like the republicans against the Obama administration.Terrance cannot win from losing.The man came out on his own and sent love to his exes who could have very well fell into the category of "Golddigger" but he did not go there.He simply showed loved and respect for his past and of course a "Black Woman" tears him down and you want us to believe he is wrong.You have proved the point of other comments by your negative statements to a black man trying to show love.But I'm sure like the rest of society and the legal system, you are simply waiting your turn to throw stones.....RIGHT!
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By: Sally G on 11/28/2009 11:42AM
I assume "ex-girlfriends" include "ex-wives", no?
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By: Greta on 11/21/2009 4:21PM
It takes two sides, and we don't know what went on in any of those cases behind closed doors. It is not right to hit a woman, or a man-but it happens. I come from a long line violent divorces, etc and I've seen it work both ways, and with all colors, creeds etc. If someone says "I'm sorry" in any form, you can accept it, or move on. If they are sorry, they will "live" to do better and show that over time. If not, they will distroy themselves, with no help from anyone else. In many cases, not all, Black women, and men are not taugt grace, poise, polish. We are taught and forced to survive, however we can. And sadly, progrmmed to tear each other apart. As such, we can not make general statments; not all black men bully black women, not all black men reach success and marry white women. Not ALL black woman are crude, and loud, etc.
As to Terrence, he's has been on his own since he was 16. I don't think anyone can make him say something that he does not mean. If he says he's sorry, most likely, he is.
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By: Hugh on 11/29/2009 6:21PM
Hold on a minute, what do you mean reach success and marry white women? So a black man isn't worthy of a white woman unless he's successful? Is marrying a black woman settling? I'm not trying to be an instigator here, but that little subliminal remark didn't get past me;it pissed me off. I agree with everything else you said, but I think what you mean was "not all men bully women". I think we should stop mentioning race in these stories. All that matters is a man had an epiphany, and is apologizing for the wrongs he did, and I applaud him for that. Again, not instigatin'.
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By: icemanj on 11/23/2009 9:58AM
I'm gonna keep it real with you. As a man, he is full of it to all of sudden think that women are suddenly precious now that he has a daughter.
The reality of it is that we "men" know that women are precious, but in the midst of our conquest "some" men choose to ignore it, forget it, and have much disregard for how precious women are during those times.
I'm sure you have heard of this saying..
"Somebody's daughter is gonna get f*** tonight"
I'm sure that most men with confidence and love the ladies ever since being teenager to becoming a grown ass men have said this, if not exact words then something close with the same context. It's nothing new and certainly not new to a celebrity who has women throwing it him.
Hey I've said it and delivered...he's just being forgetful, but I do understand what he means.
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By: Pott54 on 11/23/2009 4:47PM
When I was about 10 years old, my dad taught me and my sibblings how "precious" we were to him.
When he told his mother (my grandmother) that he and my mother were going to divorce, his mother told him--"go ahead; but I know how you feel about your children. Dee is a young woman and don't you think for one minute another man won't take her as his wife even though she has 5 kids. Now if you can stand for YOUR CHILDREN to call another man "daddy" go ahead. But don't come to me when you fall apart."
My dad CHOSE to stay and be a "daddy" to me and my 4 sibblings. HE WAS THE BEST DAD and I always knew he loved me and that I and my sibblings were "precious" to him.
When he died at the age of 72 my mother put one simple message on this tombstone---"Beloved husband and father of five." When I asked my mother why she chose that she replied--"that's what he was most proud of."
So all you dumb, ignorant people need to quit your stereotyping and generalizing about black men and women. I often wonder where some of YOU black folks come from--YOU'RE SO DAMN NEGATIVE and you act so damn deprived. Apply your stereotpyes and generalizations to YOURSELF...not to the "precious" men and women like my mom and dad...and there are millions of them out there just like them.
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By: Benny on 11/24/2009 8:54AM
I like that...
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By: Rose on 11/24/2009 10:01AM
loved your story...
Hope your Dad mended fences and dicovered a new love for one another...self denial is a part of love many of us are so selfish with our own desires that we will never think of someone before we think of ourselves...
trust me your dad was a rarety society is training our young men (and women) to take it back if it don't work and get yourself another one and if that one don't work you can take that one back and get another one
As for Mr. Howard good for him that he's made a change in the way he treats women, when a person is inspired to do better it's always good...
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